Sex on the to-do list

Have you noticed how small tasks post Covid take on a disproportional significance in one’s life? The kind of tasks that one would normally just fit in around everything else can suddenly take up the most inordinate amount of time. and need to be scheduled, timed, and diarised.

Today’s task was  washing my hair. It is my Bete noir.  Fortunately, I have the kind of hair that can survive quite happily unwashed for up to 2 weeks. But when I can’t bear the itchy scalp any longer, I know the time has come. I think about it for few days, prepare myself mentally and then just go for it. Why now during COVID has it become such a big thing. Surely, I hear you say you did this pre Covid. Well no.  It was my treat to myself.  My indulgence. My hairdresser has a little salon in her garden, not pish posh, but cheap and cheerful. And that’s where I go to make myself presentable.

Now left to my own devices I endeavor to mastermind the hair dryer. No mean feat. After a few minutes trying to get that ‘oh so finished shiny look’ my arm tires, my shoulder aches, my fingers cramp up and I start to feel dizzy. So, I give up. And the result is a bit like this – not me but I do see a resemblance.

Bad Hair Day? Your Period Could Be Why — Bad Hair Day Causes

So, this morning at 5 am when I woke hot and bothered as the central heating had been left on all night, I googled how to dry your hair to get that ‘finished’ look.  Of course  I had been doing it all wrong. So, for   anyone else having blow dry issues I share this advice with you. .

Apparently, I was blowing in the wrong direction and thus opening up my cuticle and creating frizz. I was putting the dryer far too close to my hair while it was still really wet creating yet more frizz and  I wasn’t doing it in an orderly manner. Yes even more frizz.

Organisation is not one of my best attributes so it’s not surprising that the blow dry suffers. Which brings me on to the question of lists.

See this is just what I mean here I am waffling on about inconsequential stuff because my once quite interesting life has shrunk beyond measure.

I have become a devoted list maker. Without a list to adhere to I am lost. It’s my safety net and with a bad memory its an absolute life saver. On an  insomnia night, I  can be found propped up in bed at 3 am  writing my list for the day ahead.  Everything goes on it from remembering to take my vitamins, pay bills, dog walk, call friends, weeding, check my oxygen levels, call electrician, zooms, cleaning the toilets and so on. It can vary from as little as 10 things upwards.  Sometimes I  put something on that I have already done just so I can cross it off because the crossing off bit is the best. Hugely satisfying and one needs all the satisfaction one can get right now.

There are two kinds of people in life those who make lists and those who don’t. Maybe the non-list makers just don’t need them because they have great memories and are naturally organised. Never been one of those.

To-Do List Cartoon | Organization quotes, Birthday quotes funny, Funny  quotes

I have a girlfriend who is also a list maker at least she was back in the day when we had young children and we were busy juggling family, children, parents and work. She used to put sex on her weekly list. It was a weekend ritual that had to be adhered to. Now us mums know that while enjoying a bit of the physical is very nice, sex can be very low on our  list of priorities – a good night’s sleep being number one on the agenda. But sex only happens if you make it happen. Spontaneity   doesn’t occur when there are nappies, laundry, cooking, deadlines and school runs. Which is something my girlfriend knew only too well so one morning when she woke unusually early, she started thinking about her to do list.  On it was the weekend sex with hubby.   Not wanting to waste any precious time she woke him up for a bit of nookie. Afterwards he said, “darling that was lovely we should do this more often.” She hadn’t the heart to tell him she had just crossed him off her list. Oh, to be able to cross sex off my list now! I know careful what you wish for. 

“Let’s be careful out there”

A bit of rock does wonders

There is nothing like a blast of very loud rock music to put one in a good mood. This morning I woke up, watched the news and wondered if I would survive this pandemic and, in fact if  the human race would survive. Yes, I do realise that watching the news first thing in the morning is not recommended.  But it is a habit that I don’t seem to be able to break.  I am and always have  been a news junkie.

However after my  morning  yoga,  a  dog walk and breakfast I put on some very loud music  – thank you Spotify –  and while cleaning the kitchen danced around listening to Led Zeppelin Stairway to Heaven  and ignoring the confused  looks of my pets I sang along loudly.  Led, you were  just what I needed.  I fully recommend this as a pick me up.

Led Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven copyright battle is finally over - BBC  News
Best band ever

As is my wont this survival thing usually crops up just as I am about to fall asleep.  And it’s when I start the ‘if I survive game’ and promise myself all sorts of stuff.  When we were children my brother and I used to play  the ‘if we win the pools game.’ We would spend endless hours deciding on who would get what. First on the list was a maiden aunt who lived in a bedsit with her mother  in a run-down tenement flat in Kilburn. We were horrified that the toilet was 3 floors down and had to be shared with the other tenants and the kitchen well a rather grubby gas ring was in the hallway outside the bedsit.  Of course, we didn’t do the pools, but mum did and every Friday the pools man would call to pick them up.  We never won. 

I also play this game with my premium bonds. When the email arrives  “congratulations you have won please check your account,”  despite knowing that it will just be £25 I always wait a few days so I can have  some time to fantasise what I would do if I got a big win. I also play the Lottery – and have done for 10 years and never won  anything.  I want to stop but it would be sods law that my numbers would come up.  It is odd though that I have never ever won anything.  That said I know I am one of the fortunate ones and for that I am very thankful.  However, a little win would be nice.  

So, what did you all do on New Year’s Eve? I was in bed at 9 with a book – a bit extreme I know.  Maybe I was making a point.

Premium Vector | Woman sleeping at night in her bed with open book

I did however have a little pang of envy as my close  friends gathered in  one of their homes to celebrate. Apparently it was a lot of fun.  They  have stopped inviting me  because they know I won’t come which is true,  and yes I do feel a bit left out and wonder just how much this will affect the previous closeness of our friendship. Hopefully it won’t.  I have questioned  whether  I am being  a tad over cautious as none  of them thankfully have got COVID  despite   being a lot more out and about than me.  So, am I the fool here? Have I been semi shielding since last March, for no good reason?  As hopefully a vaccine will soon be rolled out  I will not now cave in. However, the governments constant U turns over this virus gives me little confidence of the efficacy of dolling out a single vaccine.

Regarding friendships in the age of COVID19  it is almost as if we have to navigate  consent with our friends much like  the way we used to  with sexual relationships.   Talking of which sex that is,  have you seen the  Netflix period drama Bridgerton?   Regé-Jean Page plays the lead, drop dead gorgeous  and what a body.  The sex  scenes – really I think I must have missed out somewhere.  I binged watched  – and went to bed alone feeling a little forlorn. Certainly, a step up from   when Aidan Turner went topless in the BBC’s Poldark? Sadly,  I think those days are over for me  although I am not sure it was ever quite like Bridgerton. Maybe too much information.

Phoebe Dynevor and Regé-Jean Page Give Us All the Juicy Details From the  First Season of 'Bridgerton'
That’s him on the left

Digressed again  sorry I was talking about friendships and going to bed early with a book.  Interestingly  the book I was reading on the recommendation from a friend was The Price of Peace Money, Democracy, and the Life of the economist John Maynard Keynes. Not exactly the most uplifting New Year’s Eve read   but a very interesting  perspective from a century ago and still  very prevalent. After World War 1 he said, “The real danger was from those who rejected international harmony for national glory,” hmmm sound familiar?  I despair that we have learnt nothing from past events.

The Price of Peace: Money, Democracy, and the Life of John Maynard Keynes  eBook: Carter, Zachary D.: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

So, I leave  you with the vitally important  and profound 2021 predictions of  Nicolas Aujul, who claims to see the future through visions; The royal family are apparently in for a rocky ride. There is  heartbreak for Kim Kardashian and  Megan Markle will reveal all.  Riveting news.  If only  my Granny Roth and her phrenology was still here.  

“Let’s be careful out there”