Are you an insomniac? If so, what do you do when the rest of world is seemingly fast asleep? I long to be able to climb into bed, close my eyes and drift off into a night of uninterrupted slumber. But it’s a fantasy the reality is a long night tossing and turning and yes, I have tried almost everything.
Herbal sleep remedies, Melatonia, Nytol, chamomile tea, reading, audio books, yoga, whisky and those awful sleep stories. How I hate those voices. The soft melodic “I-empathise-with-your-sleep problems” voices that infuriate me. To the point that I want to hurl the phone across the bedroom in frustration. I am not interested in their caring I just want to sleep. No, I am not relaxed, yes, I have been deep breathing for the last 30 minutes, and please no more of your boring stories that you have guaranteed will put me to sleep within 20 minutes.
THEY DON’T WORK OK
I have been told sex works – but that is not an option and anyway when it was an option it just kept me awake. And there is nothing more annoying than your partner collapsing in a heap next to you in a deep sleep within minutes. Really how do they do it.
Apparently, a study revealed that as many as 16 million UK adults suffer from sleepless nights. I am thinking that I should develop an app so us insomniacs can get together. I remember when I was breast feeding at 3 in the morning, I thought we should have a 3 am mothers breast feeding group – a bit like a book club but instead of discussing narrative we could discuss babies.
So, contemplating a crate of grapes from a friend’s garden that just arrived, I got up at 3 am and googled how to make wine. Not as simple as I imagined. I thought I just had to stamp on the grapes for a few hours and put them in a container to ferment and voila. However, I learnt that I would need a bung, a rubber stopper that fits into the neck of the secondary fermenter. A hose and clip to siphon the wine from the primary fermenting bucket to the secondary fermenter. A hydrometer to test the specific gravity of the wine to determine whether it has the appropriate alcohol content. A sanitizer to ensure there are no contaminants in your wine, equipment, or bottles. Well that’s something I have plenty of. Plus, a wine corker, about 2 dozen wine bottles and corks. Hmm maybe not – think it is going to be grape jelly again.
I also got to read The Week cover to cover and every week it has a Poll watch and statistic of the week and it got me wondering who commissions these polls and indeed why
I did learn however that sadly 34% of girls aged 11-21 say they would not post a photo of themselves online without first using a filter to enhance it. 39% say they feel upset that they cannot look the same in real life as they do online.
That owing to borders closing during the pandemic some 200,000 container ship crew members have been stranded at sea for over a year.
And most alarming water companies in England discharged untreated human waste into rivers on more than 200,000 occasions last year for a total of 1.5 million hours.
All good fodder for dinner party conversations if ever I get to go to one again.
I have been told too that marijuana is good for sleep but I can’t smoke and eating it will make me too high for too long.
Note to self: Speak to California family to find me a THC product that gets me to sleep without the high. All comments will be most gratefully received.
I am adding to my usual sign off “Let’s be careful out there” to
Remember there are vulnerable people out there and however bored you are with this damn virus – it certainly is not bored.