I am not going to lie I woke up this morning not feeling so great. My positivity was somewhat wanting. And my get-up-and-go had definitely got-up-and-gone. Last night to add to the loss of the Boiler I have now also lost a tooth – well half a tooth, there is still a stubble left in there. Those pesky matzas have a lot to answer for. Mindful that dentists were ranked the number one job most at risk from Coronavirus (fyi lawyers are the least at risk) I have no desire to put myself out there, especially as I have been so very careful. I did, however manage to speak to my very helpful surgery who requested pictures. Have you ever tried to get your iPhone inside your mouth to take a pic?
As you can see not very successful. I did however manage a few full-frontal face pics which I will refrain from sharing as I value your continued following too much. I had to prize open my mouth and then position the camera directly on top of my upper lip to get a good pic of the premolar. Suffice to say that I can now only eat on my right side for as long as I am in isolation. Today it was smoothie and soup. This might get a bit boring.
Here’s an interesting thought – has anybody managed to get into their jeans? My daily wardrobe consists of pyjamas, sweatpants, pyjamas and I have no intention of going anywhere near a pair of jeans. I want nothing with a waist that doesn’t expand and nothing that I can’t curl up in a foetal position if required. This is my new normal and the bottom half of my body is very happy.
I have always been an avid reader and one would think with all this time I could tackle some of the book in my five book cases. And yet in nearly 4 weeks of self isolation I have read about 20 pages. I am not alone, a quick poll of some of my friends and indeed my very learned Aunt in New York who consumes books, and I find they are also having difficulties focusing. In fact, nobody that I have spoken to has as yet found it easy to sit down and read a book.
What is this about? Maybe it has something to do with the fact that in a way we are all grieving for what we have lost and indeed what we will lose. For the people who have died, those who are sick and those who will die. And when we are grieving it is difficult to focus. If I think back to when Tod first died, I don’t think I read a book for the first 12 months. Instead I just watched endless Netflix programmes because they were mind numbing and required little effort from me. And that is ostensibly what I have been doing for the past month interspersed by my Pilates and meditation. Which incidentally is not going very well. Today was day 4 and even without the potato in the oven, I found it difficult to concentrate. I was just willing on the sound of the gong to herald the end of the session. Maybe I am just not cut out for meditation.
Back to books I have promised myself that I will finally finish Sapiens Yuval Harari’s book A Brief History of Humankind. I started it 4 years ago and remembering thinking how good it was – but clearly not good enough to finish or if I did finish it I have forgotten. So, my promise to myself is that I will finish this book before lock down ends. Indeed when Harari talks about Sapiens 30,000 years ago it is very sobering. And in the current climate where survival takes precedence over everything else, all the anxieties and useless disagreements that went on pre coronavirus are put into context.
As you can see this is not the most uplifting Blog but then I did warn you at the beginning that I was not doing so well today.
I leave you with the wise words from the Dalai Lama.
” If there is something to be done—do it, without any need to worry; if there’s nothing to be done, worrying about it further will not help”
“Let’s be careful out there.”
6 thoughts on “The Dentist”
Oh, dear, Roma, I am sorry about your tooth and your low mood. But I guess it’s inevitable there will be such days. Each morning I read in the paper about those who have died of the virus the day before — only proominent people are included of course. I t’s so sad, and I can’t help thinking about all those Alt Right people who hate my city and are delighted to see New Yorkers suffering.
I have finally finished a book, William Trevor Last Stories. I love him, he’s so dark and Irish.
It will pass although I shouldn’t hv watched BBC2 Horizon tonight on the virus very informative but v scary.
I too am sorry about your tooth. It is on the list of things I hope won’t happen. There may be some connection between your continued lack of symptoms and the possibility of a temporary filling, maybe at a dental hospital.?
I have been using guided meditations taken at random off the internet with some success.. You might experiment if Deepak Chopra is not grabbing your attention. Maybe, be a bit choosy instead of persevering?
Thanks Maire – I think the inane music that accompanies the meditation is a bit irritating – I will shop around.
Thank you for the updates, Roma.
Keep them coming !