Home Alone

Baptism by Fire

 

Hi and welcome to my very first ever blog. Well a girl has to do something when she is in self-isolation for 3 months!!! I am in my sixties – and have never felt old until the government started to bandy around the term ‘elderly’ and ‘at risk’. I have 3 grown up sons and was married to an American for 35 years before he sadly died 18 months ago from a Glioblastoma. And am now Home Alone for the very first time in my life. And it really does feel like Baptism by Fire

The Dalai Lama advises everybody to spend a little time alone each day. Time to reflect and chase away the negative thoughts such as anger, resentment, jealousy, and tiredness. Try to replace those with positive emotions such as optimism, gratitude, love, and peace.

So, I am trying, and I emphasise ‘trying’ to internalise these wise words as
I begin my coronavirus self-isolation.  But I am struggling, and it is just Day 1.  I have never lived on my own.  I know that’s a bit sad.  Travelled extensively on my own yes but never actually lived entirely on my own – until now.
Until yesterday two of my sons and girl friend were living with me but
they have vacated the home because I am considered at risk from Coronavirus; I
have Bronchiectasis.

And suddenly this large 6-bedroom house which is usually bustling with noise
is suddenly very very quiet and it is just me and my dog and my cat.  And the government is saying that I need to do this for 3 months!!! WTF I will go stir crazy. Get a grip – I am a big girl I can do this, can’t I? Note to myself – routine. Do not start watching Netflix until at least 6 pm.  

But how will I cope if I encounter a spider, or the cat brings in a mouse, or
rat or half dead bird. If I need something from the attic, or a fuse goes, or
the heating stops working.  Bloody hell I sound a complete wuss – what happened to the intrepid Roma, the one who hitchhiked across Europe aged 18 on her own, who braved the swamps of the Okavango, who
drove from the east to the west coast of America through the blizzards of Nebraska, escaped from a Moonie commune in San Francisco, worked with very disturbed boys in  California, got mugged in South Africa during the Soweto  uprising to name just a few adventures. And survived relatively unscathed.  So yes, it is really time to be a big girl.

So, this is a somewhat self-indulgent blog which is to help me get through the next 3 months and out the other side mentally intact and disease free. This is the next big challenge in my life. And I know I am not alone – there are millions of you across the universe doing exactly the same thing so please do send me your stories, advice, books to read and films to watch. They will all be very much appreciated